I am glad my husband is not a RHS

First, I just want to say thank you to Chris for being as excited about this adoption as I am. I have joined a couple of internet groups just to be able to ask questions and get advice if needed. In one particular post a lady was talking about her RHS. At first I thought this was some form I had never heard of, but it actually stands for Reluctant Husband. If he is that reluctant that you have given him a title should you really be considering the adoption? I cannot wait to meet our child and if you have been reading neither can Chris. I could not imagine going through this and having to persuade Chris to go along for the ride. What message does that give to a child? When telling their adoption story they will say "my mom convinced my dad that they needed me and he eventually gave in. They picked me up in Vietnam and he is happy he did it now." I could not imagine going into this process without Chris being 100% on the same page as me. I want my child to say "my parents loved before I came home with them. They would sit up at night talking about the day when they would eventually come and take me home from Vietnam. They worked very hard and prayed all the time for my safe return with them to start our family." I will not have to worry about our future child having any doubt that she was wanted from the start by both her parents. As Chris put in his last post we will simply say I love you and we did even before we met you. Thanks Panda for being an EEHS (equally excited husband).

Summer

Another Step Complete

Well we finished a major hurdle today, our homestudy. We also received our finger print appointment for May 19. It is so funny how you are so nervous for the homestudy about the house being clean (which those who know us ours is questionalbe sometimes) and that really is the least of the social workers worries. She is more worried about how we will care for our child and how we will raise our child. That is good because I am (probably foolishly) more comfortable answering those kinds of questions than I am being graded on my ablity to keep house. It is such a weight off our shoulders to have this step in the process complete. I feel like we can start getting excited. Although I know we still have to be approved by USCIS I feel as though we have finally proven ourselves ready and capable of parenting a child. We are ready for the rest of the journey and I for one cannot wait for the ride.

Summer

First Words...

It may be the subject of urban legend... It may be the truth... Either way, the impact is nonetheless the same. My own father's first words...first thoughts...about me where something to the effect of "I don't want you!" I now am faced with thinking about what my first words will be to my child. I think and discover that my first words come from the first words my heavenly father must have first said to me. God's first words to me where "I love you. I want you. I choose you." God chose me, and indeed all people, from the beginning. The Psalmist wrote how God knew us even before we were an us! I already want my child...who knows if she is born yet or not! It doesn't matter. I want you...wherever you are or soon will be! You hear me! I want you. I choose you because God has chosen you for me. (I have some issues saying this because it leaves the question why didn't God choose the other kids in the orphanage...the reality is that God has chosen and is always with the least of our brothers and sisters in society! I say choose here in the sense that I want to raise my child to always choose to be with those who are most in need!) Most importantly, God's first words are always "I love you." God is love (1 John...I forget the chapter and verse) and of course God would speak "love." So there it is...my first words to my child. I love you. I want you. I choose you. You're mine...and I will be yours forever. Wow.

Going Through the Process

Anyone who knows me knows I like to plan. I am not necessarily organized but on any given big event I like to put the small pieces together. Chris would say she is marking another step off the white board. I am no different with the adoption. I love the time spent going through the process and taking in the experience and I dread the days when I have checked off all the list I can and just have to wait. I think that is why I like the lists they give me something to do to pass the time that is meaningful throughout the process. Sometimes I complain about it because if nothing else it is time consuming. However, there is a sense of satisfaction that yes I am indeed a part of this process and I have input into helping the process move along smoothly. During those times I daydream about our child and what she will look like. Will she scream non stop for days on end when we get to take her with us? Will she be that child who adapts well and takes up with us more immediately? What will she eventually call us when she starts to talk will it be Mama like my husband does his mother or my simple mom? Will she say dad or daddy or gosh forbid diddy? Also as we go along in the process, we are in fact getting ready to wait. I feel like every tick mark on those list means we are a little closer to reaching our dreams.