Monday, August 21, 2006

Ramblings...

"Blessed is the man who finds wisdom..." Proverbs 3: 13. In the Old Testament, wisdom is always personified in the feminine. Of course, how could wisdom be something associated with men. This is part of the reason I wanted to name my daughter, still reads funny when I type it, Sophie. Yeah, I know the Old Testament wasn't written in Greek (Sophia is wisdom in the Greek, Sophie just sounds less like a Golden Girl). Blessed is the man indeed! It is amazing the power this kid already has over me. If I am having a rough day at work, I pull out the photos. Instant Zen! I can't wait to hold her. Love incarnate. (Not surprising when God wanted to express the fullness and purity of his love comes as a baby. What else were we or should we have expected.) I look at the photos longing for the person. I find myself daydreaming while driving in the car (not necessarily the healthiest of practices) about conversations we might have some day, like why Duke was always the only the choice for college or why boys only want one thing...of course, at that point I tell her to ask her mother about "the one thing." I imagine typing at this computer only to feel tiny fingers grasping my arm...what a welcome diversion. No, scratch that, the computer is the diversion...the kid is the most important thing. Tiny fingers wanting me to play at some game or just pay her some attention. I can imagine us watching the Simpsons, I'm sorry but Barney bites, the Wiggles just seem asanine, and the Tellatubbies only make sense if you're a Timothy Leary disciple. I can't wait to hear her first words. She could probably wait because I fear that shortly following that moment baby gets her first taste of soap followed by Summer giving me a lecture about not letting her sit in the same room with me when a ballgame is on. I can't wait until she cracks her first joke. It is like all of the sudden life is new because of a birth (wow, if that doesn't have Biblical overtones) and all the old stuff (big or small, simple or complex) are like I am experiencing it again for the first time. I write her name in the margins of my minutes at church meetings, like some lovestruck teenager. I kiss pictures good night and hug them good morning. My usual stone poker face that rarely reveals my true emotions is gone when it comes to this kid. I want to walk up to strangers and give them one of my bubble gum cigars. So, Sophie...I have only fallen in love with three people in my life, if you take out Jesus, that leaves your Mom and You. Speaking of your Mom, I'm the fun parent. I wanted to get that out in the open right away. Seriously! I didn't think I could love your mother any more than I did when I married her, I was wrong! OK kid, when I first started this blog your old man has to get his mind around something before he can get his heart around it. Well, both are around you now and have been for longer than you have even been you! Can't wait to met you.